I swear, if I didn't want to score a free meal now and then I would never date. I have the luck of a three legged dog living behind a Korean cafeteria. The flakes sniff me out in a crowd of women, as if Im wearing "Loser" by Lancome. I need to find a repellent. Some stenchy spray that impedes their approach and warns them that I have no tolerance for stupidity. I wonder if Lysol would work?
Sure Im a cynical bitch, but who isn't? I've dated the classic premature ejaculator, the wannabe rockstar, a few arrogant firemen and a few semi-retarded guys who were entertaining initially. After I pointed and laughed a few times, the novelty wore off and I was left starring at Corky.
I wont collect 39 cats and I wont go on a shooting rampage in an autoparts store. I will continue to be the best bitch I know how to be and continue to wade through the sea of dorks, dweebs and pseudo players. I believe it's my destiny, my purpose on earth, to let them know just how lame they are and remind them just how f'ing cool I am.
Wow. I feel much better now. Time to go wrangle the herd of cats and head off to Auto Zone.
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